So I've Been Thinking...

...and boy, is there alot going 'round in there, which is partly why I haven't been blogging lately. So many changes have happened in such a short amount of time that I am still attempting to process it all...

As I was driving around town today, lost in my own thoughts because I had somehow managed to tune out the little voices behind me, I realized that over the past few weeks I have lost some of my JOY...

How could that be? I have a wonderful husband, four healthy children, a beautiful home, a decent "ride"...security... No reason in the world to be anything less than thrilled 24/7, right? But all the mamas out there know that it is easy to get caught up in the mundane tasks of ordinary, everyday life. Don't get me wrong... I'm not down or depressed. I am quite happy, actually...which has surprised me considering all the complications & long recovery, etc. that I am sure people are tired of hearing about and you're all tired of reading about...

Anyway, back to joy... I said I'm happy right? So, what is the problem? I read a quote years ago that said, "Joy is not the absence of sorrow, but the Prescence of God." I wish, oh how I wish, I had the words to adequately describe my experience... YES, there was pain...pain like I have never experienced before...and, YES, it was physically difficult and emotionally draining...and, YES, I have many scars to remind me...but the JOY! The indescribable JOY that accompanied me day & night... The undeniable prescence of God that carried me through it all...

I am trying to hang on to it...but I realized today that I have let life get in the way of my relationship with my Creator... I am thrilled that I am able to care for my family again...thrilled to be able to cook & clean (yes, you read that right), to do my own errands, to go for walks, to pick up my 2-year-old... But somewhere along the way, I have gotten caught up in the daily tasks & I have neglected the most important... I have been more Martha than Mary... I have neglected the personal worship of my Lord for daily to-do lists & facebook & swagbucks & wii fit... (even writing this now, I am tempted to open another page to check FB)

So there ya go...true confessions...

Restore unto me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:12
The joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8:10

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